Introduction: Why Boundaries Matter More Than Ever Set Boundaries Find Peace Summary
Have you ever felt overwhelmed, resentful, or just completely drained—but didn’t know how to say “no”?
You’re not alone.
In Set Boundaries, Find Peace, licensed therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab gently but firmly reminds us that most of our emotional exhaustion comes from one thing: poor boundaries.
This book isn’t just about saying no—it’s about reclaiming your time, your energy, and your emotional well-being. Whether you struggle with people-pleasing, toxic relationships, or burnout at work, Set Boundaries, Find Peace shows you that boundaries are not selfish—they’re necessary.
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Why Set Boundaries, Find Peace Became an Instant Bestseller
In today’s fast-paced and emotionally demanding world, we often hear that we “should” set boundaries—whether it’s to avoid burnout, protect our mental health, or preserve healthy relationships. But the truth is, most of us were never taught how to actually do that.
That’s where Nedra Glover Tawwab steps in with her powerful and practical book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace. A licensed therapist and trusted voice on emotional wellness, Tawwab brings years of clinical experience—and a relatable, down-to-earth approach—to help readers finally understand what healthy boundaries look like in real life.
This book soared to the top of the New York Times bestseller list because it fills a deep need: the need to end emotional struggle, to speak up for ourselves clearly, and to experience the freedom of being truly seen and respected.
Tawwab breaks down what so many people misunderstand. Boundaries aren’t about being mean, cold, or distant. They’re about being clear. They’re about honoring your needs without apology, whether you’re navigating work stress, family pressure, toxic friendships, or relationship challenges.
Rooted in the science of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and real-world practice, the book gives you step-by-step tools to:
- Identify where your boundaries are weak or missing
- Communicate your needs clearly and respectfully
- Say “no” with confidence and without guilt
- Break free from patterns of codependency, people-pleasing, and emotional overwhelm
More than anything, this book helps readers reconnect with their voice—and with their power. Because when you set boundaries, you don’t just protect your peace… you create a life that actually feels like yours.
The Book in 3 Sentences
- Boundaries are the foundation of healthy relationships and inner peace.
- Most of our stress, resentment, and burnout comes from not communicating our needs clearly.
- Saying “no” is a life skill—and one we can learn without guilt, drama, or fear.
Who Is This Book For?
- People who always say yes but feel secretly resentful
- Empaths, caregivers, and people-pleasers
- Anyone navigating difficult family, work, or romantic relationships
- Those seeking emotional peace and personal growth
If you’ve ever said “I’m fine” when you weren’t, or stayed silent to keep the peace—this book is for you.
About the Author
Nedra Glover Tawwab is not just a licensed therapist—she’s one of today’s most trusted voices when it comes to boundaries, relationships, and emotional wellness. With over twelve years of experience in relationship therapy, she’s the founder of Kaleidoscope Counseling, a group practice based in Charlotte, North Carolina.
Tawwab’s work has been featured in top publications like The New York Times, The Guardian, Psychology Today, and Self, and she’s a frequent guest on podcasts like Therapy for Black Girls and Don’t Keep Your Day Job. Her down-to-earth insights and practical tools have also made her one of the most influential mental health experts on Instagram, where she offers weekly Q&As and shares actionable tips to help people improve their boundaries and relationships.
Through her writing and therapeutic work, Nedra empowers people to reclaim their voice, protect their peace, and build healthier connections—with others and with themselves.
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Key Takeaways from Set Boundaries, Find Peace
1. Boundaries Are About Self-Respect
Setting boundaries isn’t about controlling others—it’s about respecting yourself and communicating your limits.
2. Poor Boundaries Create Resentment
If you’re constantly overextending yourself, eventually you’ll burn out or feel bitter. Clear boundaries prevent that buildup of anger and exhaustion.
3. You Don’t Need to Over-Explain
“No” is a complete sentence. Boundaries don’t need long justifications. You have the right to protect your time and energy—guilt-free.
4. Boundaries Can Be Loving
You can set boundaries with kindness. In fact, the most loving thing you can do for others is show them what’s okay and what’s not.
5. Healthy Communication Is Key
Most boundary issues are actually communication issues. Tawwab teaches practical scripts and phrases you can use in real life.
What Experts Are Saying About Set Boundaries, Find Peace
Nedra Glover Tawwab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace is being praised as the ultimate guide to understanding and implementing healthy boundaries—with compassion, clarity, and purpose.
Melissa Urban, co-founder and CEO of Whole30, calls it “a clear and compassionate breakdown of the what, why, and how of boundaries.” She adds that it leaves readers “confident, empowered, and ready to handle tough conversations.”
Alexandra Elle, author of After the Rain, describes it as “the boundary bible.” She applauds Nedra’s ability to help readers be honest about their needs and emotions, saying, “Finding peace starts with showing up—and Nedra shows us how to do just that.”
Sheleana Aiyana, author and founder of Rising Woman, urges anyone seeking clarity and emotional freedom to read this book: “If you want a relatable, comprehensive guide to setting boundaries and speaking your truth, this book is for you.”
And Vienna Pharaon, LMFT and founder of Mindful Marriage & Family Therapy, calls it “the book on boundaries we’ve all been waiting for.” She praises Tawwab’s grace and depth, adding: “If you’re ready to realign your life and relationships, this is a must-read.
My Personal Reflection
Reading Set Boundaries, Find Peace felt like uncovering a truth I should have known all along. Nedra Tawwab doesn’t sugarcoat or overcomplicate—she lays out the process of setting boundaries with clarity, depth, and unwavering honesty. What struck me most was how practical and direct her examples were. It’s not vague theory; it’s real-life language you can actually use.
This book opened my eyes to just how much peace I’ve unknowingly given away over the years—just by letting others’ words carry more weight than they should. Tawwab reminds us that not every comment needs a response, and not every request deserves a “yes.” Boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re about meaning it, following through, and protecting your energy with intention.
What I appreciated deeply is that the book avoids toxic positivity or simplistic advice. It’s not about cutting people off or labeling everyone as “toxic.” It’s about building a life grounded in respect, clarity, and emotional freedom.
Honestly, this book should be required reading in every high school. It’s a life skill we all need—but most of us were never taught.
My Top 3 Quotes
“You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.”
“The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.”
“Peace requires boundaries.”
Who Would Benefit Most from This Book?
This book is especially helpful for:
- Young professionals dealing with burnout
- Parents feeling pulled in all directions
- Partners in codependent relationships
- Therapists, coaches, and helpers of all kinds
Getting the Most Out of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
One of the most powerful lessons in this book is that you can’t control how others behave—but you can absolutely control what you allow, how you respond, and what you tolerate. In every healthy relationship, boundaries must flow both ways: you set and protect your own while honoring the boundaries of others.
If you’re ready to start applying the practical tools from this transformative guide, consider diving deeper with extended summaries and exercises. The full summary bundle includes a visual infographic, a 14-page detailed text overview, and a 24-minute audio summary to help you integrate the lessons into your daily life.
This book is packed with real-world examples, suggested phrases to use when setting boundaries, and checklists to identify problem patterns. Every chapter ends with thoughtful reflection prompts, and the book concludes with a self-assessment quiz and answers to common boundary-setting questions.
Curious to learn more or explore similar topics? You may also enjoy our in-depth summaries of Daring Greatly, The Four Agreements, The Miracle Morning, and Necessary Endings.
And of course, for more on the author and her work, visit nedratawwab.com.
Want to Read or Listen?
- 🎧 Listen on Audible
- 📘 Get the book on Amazon
Disclosure: These are affiliate links. We may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the main message of Set Boundaries, Find Peace?
That boundaries are essential for emotional health, and anyone can learn to set them without guilt.
Is this a workbook or more theory-based?
It’s a mix. It includes real-life examples, reflection questions, and actionable advice—perfect for both thinking and doing.
Can I set boundaries with family or people I love?
Absolutely. In fact, boundaries are what allow love to thrive without resentment.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to feel guilty for saying no.
You don’t have to explain your every decision.
You don’t need to keep the peace by abandoning yourself.
You just need boundaries.
And this book shows you how to create them—with compassion, clarity, and confidence.
Because real peace isn’t found in people-pleasing.
It’s found in choosing yourself—with love.
🎯 Ready to transform your relationships?
Get your copy today and start reclaiming your peace.
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